Due to the pandemic, our son’s daycare temporarily closed in March,  having him with my husband and I while we both worked from home. During the day we tried our best to work and entertain him and to be honest, it was hard work. We often allowed him to watch television or have his tablet while we were trying to figure out our new daily routine. I was concerned as a parent if we were giving him a structured schedule that included enough learning and physical activity that he would have received in daycare. However, it was challenging with having a child at home and trying to give him and my job the focus and attention they both required.

As a parent, of course we searched for ways to keep him engaged and learning throughout the day while we worked.  I purchased an early learning program that he could use in the hopes that the criteria would keep him involved in learning activities throughout the day. During this time, both my husband and I had to join in strategic teamwork in order to balance working from home, running a household and fostering a daily schedule for my son that included play and learning.

My husband handled majority of the physical activity with outside play and nature walks. I handled majority of the indoor activities and learning.  I had to find hands-on items that he normally had in daycare and bring them to home life. I purchased coloring books, cut and paste workbooks and puzzles. It was important for me to find various types of activities that my son would enjoy and keep him interested for a reasonable amount of time. My plan was for him to be able to sit beside me for periods throughout my workday, being able to work both independently and with assistance.

Now I know all the above sounds as if our days were nice and smooth and I will say for the most part they were. However, there were days he had plenty of screen time and days when I took phone calls for work and my son decided to call me “mommy” loudly and subsequently ask several questions. I was also in my third trimester of pregnancy, which brought on its own challenges.

We had our days but out of these new times, I can say that my husband and I are blessed and grateful to have our son with us all day and spending quality time that we otherwise would not have had. 2020 challenges are apparent, however, pause and think about what blessings have occurred.  

Philippians 4:11 states that “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.”

Are you making the best out or your situation? Make the choice to find joy rather than gloom and rather than battling your circumstances accept them. Be diligent on how you as a person can grow from these times. Our God is not surprised about our situations and knows what’s best for us because Jeremiah 29:11 states,

“For I know the plans I have for you"--this is the LORD's declaration--"plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Due to recent events in the world I’ve have noticed articles and post on social media regarding support and concerns for women who are pregnant. I am currently pregnant and concerns have been personally brought up to me,  however if someone asked me am I worried in this season as a pregnant woman my answer is no. Am I cautious? Yes. Am I using wisdom? Yes. Am I practicing social distancing? Yes. Am I abiding by the the laws of the land? Yes. But am I fearful? No, not once.

Psalms 18:2 says “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.  My God, my strength in whom I will trust;  My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Christ is the solid rock that I stand on, I will not be shaken nor moved. So based on who God represents in my life,  the recent events in the world have not caused me to fear.  Scripture has been an ever present help and support during this time. 

When it comes to reading scripture for encouragement and to bring peace I often search the definitions of specific words used in scripture. For example, in Psalms 18:2, the words used to describe God are rock, fortress, deliverer, strength and stronghold. The King James Version uses “high tower” in place of stronghold.

Stronghold  is defined as a place that has been fortified so as to protect against a attack. 

High Tower is used to represent a symbol of protection or provision.

Fortress is defined as a person or thing not susceptible to outside influence or disturbance. 

Psalms 61: 2-4 states “From the end of the earth I will cry to Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For Thou have been shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Thy tabernacle for ever; I will trust in the shelter of Thy wings”

 So in any circumstance where worry, fear or anxiety can creep in, know that we serve a big God, who is also our fortress and the solid rock we can stand on. 

During this time, use wisdom but do not allow fear to take over and make you forget who our God was, who He is and who He will continue to be. 

Time to be vulnerable. For a short time I was dealing with anxiousness and thoughts of worry for my son. Yes, parents are to have a healthy concern for their children, but my thoughts and worry were unhealthy. As I stated before in a previous blog post, when a person becomes a parent, there is a heightened sense/feeling of concern for your child. I began having thoughts that caused me to fear and being a believer of Christ, fear has no place in us! I was praying over my mind and rebuking negative thoughts on a constant basis. One day while a work a friend of mine sent me a song called “Peace”. We often share songs with each other so it was no different that day for her to send me a song she thought I’d like. She had previously told me that it was a great song but had not shared it until a few days later. Picture it, I’m at my desk at work and start playing the song and I became so full. Filled with tons of emotions of relief and comfort. It was as if that song was what I needed in my time of struggle. Jesus knew just what I needed and that song spoke volumes to me! It felt like a burden that I was carrying lifted from me. The lyrics are:

“You will stay true, even when the lies come

Your word remains truth, even when my thoughts don’t line up

I will stand tall, on each promise you made

Let the rest fade away

There’s a peace far beyond all understanding

May it ever set my heart at ease,

Dare anxiety come I’ll remember that

Peace is a promise you keep

Peace is a promise you keep

You will stay true

Even in the chaos

Your word remains truth

Even when my mind wreaks havoc

I will be still

For I’ve known all along

My Jehovah shalom

There’s a peace far beyond all understanding

May it ever set heart at ease

What anxiety fails to remember

Peace is a promise you keep

Peace is a promise you keep

You are peace to the restless soul

Peace when my thoughts wage war

Peace to the anxious heart

That’s who you are, that’s who you are

You are peace when my fear takes hold

Peace when I feel enclosed

Peace when I lose control

That’s who you are, that’s who you are

I found peace far beyond all understanding

Let it flow when my minds under siege

All anxiety bows in the presence

Of Jesus the keeper of peace

And peace is a promise He keeps.”

Yall.

I could not contain myself at my desk and the tears began to fall. I had to leave my office and scurry to the bathroom because I needed to let go of all the emotions I had inside. I couldn’t do anything but cry. The song blessed me so much.

Peace is defined as the freedom from disturbance or tranquility. Another definition is calm and tranquility of soul despite being in the midst of difficult circumstance or despite external turmoil. The opposite of peace is anxiety and/or worry.

Philippians 4:6-7 states “Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Colossians 3:15 states “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”

If peace is not your normal way of operating, you are out of sync spiritually. There will be moments of worry because we are flesh but if worry is normative for you then you are not allowing God to be your peace or aligning yourself to scripture. Peace should normally operate in your life.

When worry comes, look at what the scripture says!

Isaiah 26:3 states that “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

My mind may say all of these things, but you need to ask what does God’s word say? It says to pray about everything and if you keep your mind consistently on God, He will keep you in perfect peace.

If any of you feel that peace is not normally operating in your life, say this prayer:

Holy and righteous God, we give you praise, we honor you wherever we are. There is no one like you, you are the great God and to thee all flesh must come. You are the great answer of prayer. The heavens declare Your handiwork and the whole earth is full of Your glory.

Lord, we confess that we have allowed worry and anxiousness to overcome us. We’ve disregarded the gift of peace You freely give.

But we are thankful that You are our Jehovah Shalom, our God of peace. We are grateful that You are a keeper of peace and if we follow Your word to operate in our lives then we will have the peace that passes all understanding.

So as we say this prayer today, Lord we just ask that You help us to stand firm on Your word by praying on all things and constantly keeping our minds stayed on You. We request that You will keep our hearts and minds secure where fear, anxiety or worry will not dwell. So we accept Your invitation to peace by trusting that we will have the peace that passes all understanding, that we will have perfect inner rest and can confidently call You our Jehovah Shalom. In all of these things we ask, in Your holy and righteous name Jesus, we pray Amen.

So stand firm on God’s word and have peace!

Peace: Words and music by Michael Fatkin, Benjamin Hastings & Melodie Wagner

The definition of parent is a person who brings up and cares for another or one that begets or brings forth offspring. The definition of parenting is the raising of a child by its parents.              

Being a parent is hard work! It is by far one of the most rewarding privileges but can be challenging at times. My family just stepped into the season of “terrific twos” and yes I’m speaking terrific rather than terrible (I don’t want to give that word any power). I’m watching what words I use and I’d rather speak positive words over negative. I’ve heard many legends and stories of how the 2’s will be but boy oh boy! Never has someone so small tested me in my life. The emotions and fall-outs have left me questioning how a child in one moment can have the time of his life filled with laughter and a minute later go on an emotional roller coaster that includes a full body meltdown.

This stage of parenting for me has been interesting yet challenging with the main question of what type of discipline and correction will my child be receptive to. This part of parenting has definitely worn my patience on several occasions. Until one day my son was having a terrific two moment and I was getting upset and on the brink of raising my voice when the Holy Spirit came over me and said “For His glory”. It’s like a light switch turned on in me. I calmed down and responded to my son in an even tone rather than with anger.

How we navigate parenting should be all for God’s glory.

1 Corinthians 10:31 states “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do it all to the glory of God.”

Believers serve the Lord through their personal lives and in their actions toward others. Glorifying God in everything means we honor Him in our thoughts and actions. God has granted us the blessing and privilege to create new beings in the earth to add and build to HIS kingdom, all for His glory. So, when I parent I try to remember that in all things I do surrounding parenting should all be for God’s glory. When you get upset, try for a second to stop and become quiet and say “For your glory”. Yes, I know that can be very difficult when you are in the heat of the moment but saying to yourself “for Your glory” will redirect the next action you plan to take when correcting or responding to your child.

Psalm 127:3 stated “Lo, Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

God has granted and trusted you enough to take care of His child. God has put you in a position as a parent and He trusts you to raise His child (children) in the way that they should go, so do it for God’s glory. We’ve been charged with the task to raise kingdom kids/children…and how should we perform these tasks? All for God’s glory!

Yes, I am fully aware that if you are having a challenging moment saying “for Your glory” will be easier said than done. I’m a work in progress on how I parent and making sure my actions and reactions align with God. However, I make an effort to remind myself of why I parent. When you say “for Your glory”, it’s a reminder that causes you to question “why am I doing this?” The big picture is for me to raise a whole/complete child or as author Tony Evans defines a kingdom man is a person that will one day “visibly demonstrate the comprehensive rule of God underneath the Lordship of Jesus Christ in every area of his life.” So, of course I want to make sure I speak to him, teach him, guard and guide him in a way that is all for God’s glory!

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Having the opportunity to be out of work with my son was amazing and I did not want it to end. However, when it was time for me to return to work, I was not ready...at all! I was dragging my feet and actually did not go back to work at the time I previously planned.  When I knew I could not extend my leave any longer, I began looking for daycares. I can honestly say that the search for a daycare can be stressful but I prayed that the Lord would lead my husband and I to the right one. Once we found a daycare, we began the process of transitioning my son for about three days at daycare for a 2 to 4 hour stay. It was difficult and anxiety was trying to creep in but I managed.

HOWEVER, when it came to the first full day for when I returned to work, I was not ok!  Once I dropped off my son and began my commute to work, all the weight and anxiety came down on me and I took it hard…very hard. Driving off from the daycare got the best of me and I cried uncontrollably. I am not talking about a sweet and soft cry…it was definitely a cry that involved lots of tears and groaning.

Oh but how great our God is! While I was crying on my way to work, my friend called me. She was also a mother with a child in daycare. She called me unexpectedly and when I answered the phone I was crying so hard I could barely speak or get a word out to reply to her. When she realized I was crying she asked what was wrong and I continued to cry and barely squeezed out that I had just dropped off my son at daycare and that today was my first day back to work. She was calm, gave me an understanding sigh and told me that she understood how I felt and that she’s experienced the same feelings.

She then told me that both my husband and I made the decision for me to return back to work and that we both took the time out to place my son in the right daycare for us and that we were confident in the decision that we made for our family and trusted God during the process. Simple but yet profound and much needed for a mama who was crying and needed someone to give her those supporting words in that very moment. Her words spoke to me in a way that left me confident and assured in God’s scripture and I was able to rest in those words.

Psalm 56:3 states “What time am I afraid, I will trust in thee.”

Psalm 94:19 states that “In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.” I can apply this scripture because when I was overcome with anxiety, God used a friend of mine to speak to me that in turn consoled me and gave me comfort in a big transition that was taking place for my family.

2 Timothy 1:7 states “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

 I thank God often for having my friend at that very moment call me when I needed extra reassurance in the choice of me returning to work and placing my son in daycare. So if there are any mamas (daddies) out there with daycare approaching soon... my advice… breathe. Unless you have a nanny or family member taking care of your child. Take your time to pray, seek God, research daycares and visit places. Know that when a multitude of feelings began to shower you, trust in God.

Each day gets better and easier and now when I drop my son off he smiles at his teachers, which gives me a such happy feeling. Do I have mom guilt sometimes, yes, however I would not change the decision we made to place my son in daycare. It was a wise decision for my family and I am often amazed at how much our son has learned and developed at daycare.

No matter what season you are in during your life, adjust for Jesus! Make sure your relationship and time with the Father is still a high priority. The time spent with the Father may look different season to season, but being consistent is important. When I became pregnant, I entered a new season in my life and experienced a shift in my walk with Christ. The first change occurred with my fasting. Fasting was a norm in my life prior to becoming pregnant and was very vital to my kingdom living. I had been fasting 2 to 3 times a week for about two and a half years and it became a part of my walk with the Lord. My fasting mainly entailed no food during a certain time of the day plus other restrictions outside of food. Of course becoming pregnant fasting from food was not going to work and it truly altered my everyday life. I would say not being able to fast the way I had become accustomed to for two and half years sort of threw me off track.

When I gave birth, reading my bible changed as well. Do not get me wrong, the “alter” or season change was a blessing, however I did not prepare for the adjustments required to continue my walk with the Lord that I had before becoming pregnant. Even after giving birth my fasting life did not return to normal because I was breastfeeding and the thought of restricting food was out of the question.

Serving in church paused or even going to church after my son was born changed. Caring for a newborn and nursing every 2 hours became my priority and fitting in God where ever I could was secondary. If you experience a season change that affects your walk with Christ …ADJUST. When going through my season change I did not prepare nor did I become strategic with my time spent with the Father.

Mark 1:35-37 states “And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.”

If Jesus made time to pray, then we should. I am sure He had several tasks or many things before Him but yet made time to pray….and He was JESUS!

 Psalms 1:2 states “But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.”

The bible says “day and night.” There are no exceptions and no matter what season you are in during your life you need to make time for God. Even if you only read one scripture, do it and meditate on it all day. In the beginning, I did not adjust or make strategic plans to spend time with the Father. I read the bible but I could have always done more and to make sure I set aside quiet time with God. So adjust, adjust, adjust and if you feel like you still do not have time, pray for help with time management. Put God first and you will have time for everything else.

Looking back, I had to look at how my relationship with God changed prior to and after pregnancy and notice the vast difference. I had to begin implementing things back into my life that had slowed down or ceased and create new ways in building my walk and relationship with Christ. When your season changes and your walk with Christ shifts, make sure you are proactive by adjusting to maintain kingdom life.

After the birth of my son, I began pumping breast milk and storing it in a chest freezer to build up my supply for when I returned to work. One day after a pumping session, I went to the chest freezer to add more milk and noticed that the already frozen breast milk looked different. I took out one of the gallon bags that was filled with breast milk storage bags and noticed that half of my stash had thawed!  The electric plug somehow reset, shutting off the deep freezer, therefore slowly thawing out my frozen breast milk for what I assumed had been for many hours.

 I stood silent in disbelief and shock thinking about all of the hard work, many hours sitting, and patiently pumping breast milk. I freaked out and the tears started rolling!

I took my supply to the kitchen to try to figure out what looked thawed or what looked frozen so that I could sort through to figure out what I could save. As I was looking through the storage bags of breast milk, I realized that over half my stash had thawed to some degree….I am talking over 50 oz. of breast milk!  When I realized the damage done I quickly thought about how much milk and time I would need to replace it. So I cried…again, all that hard work I felt had gone to waste so I just continued to cry with the feeling of defeat. 50 oz. may not seem like a lot and I am not sure who coined the phrase “don’t cry over spilled milk” but that person definitely did not breastfeed or use a breast milk pump. I was distraught for a while trying to weigh my options and the risks of deciding to keep the thawed breast milk since it was still cold or to not take the risk and just throw it away. Of course, for the safety of my child, I chose the option of throwing away the thawed out breast milk that I could not use. 

After calming down, a few hours later I called my mom and told her about the tragedy that happened earlier. After I gave my heart felt story, my mom’s response was … “okay”? She did not seem to be getting it so I ran down the list of all the hard work and the hours it took to pump all those ounces. I also informed her that going forward I would have to pump many ounces in order to replace the milk I had to throw away. Her response was simple, “is that all the milk God is going to provide to you?" There was silence. In my mind, I was thinking, “Excuse me ma’am!” Is that all you have to say after I cried my eyes out earlier throwing away many dedicated hours of pumping this pure liquid gold that feeds my child? My mom went on to simply question,

“Is God not going to provide you with more milk? I did not receive what my mom said for a while because I was seeking some sympathy or some understanding about this incident but nope, she gave none.

I share this story to say that Jesus is our Jehovah Jireh, which means “The Lord Will Provide”.

Matthew 6:31 states “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them“.

Philippians 4:19 states “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

 There were times that I had plenty and other times I have had significantly less and even after losing many ounces of preciously pumped breast milk, my son always had enough. As my mother said, the milk lost was not all the milk I was going to produce and that the Lord was going to provide for my child without any lack. So whether you have concern of future provision in any area, know that our God is fully aware of your needs and will provide.

This blog entry is all about praying prior to and during pregnancy. If you want children in the future, are planning to conceive or currently pregnant, I encourage you to pray about things you want for pregnancy. Every concern or desire you have about pregnancy, talk to the Lord about it! When I say every concern, I do mean EVERYTHING… Do not think that your request is too big or small. God cares about all of our concerns no matter the size so no request you present to God is insignificant.

 Philippians 4:6 states, “Be anxious for nothing, but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.”

See! The bible says “but in everything” and with everything...pray about it. When I found out I was pregnant I began to list my personal concerns I had about pregnancy and how I desired for certain things to happen or not happen. Pregnancy has negative stereotypes that women are used to hearing that can spark fear and a perspective about pregnancy that can seem dreadful. I am not saying that there may not be any unpleasant experiences, but do not allow negative stereotypes to penetrate you. So in order to avoid being consumed with all the negative themes about pregnancy, pray about your pregnancy!

When I became pregnant I began praying every day by myself and with my husband about things I was seeking for during my pregnancy. I brought my concerns to the Lord and had faith that God would see me through them. To begin, I consistently prayed for of course a healthy baby, full term pregnancy and a safe and healthy pregnancy. However, one specific request was no tearing! Yes, that is a request I presented to God on many occasions during my pregnancy. When a woman becomes pregnant, there is a possibility of vaginal tearing during childbirth; however, I did not want that…. so I prayed about it!. Even when I had a midwife appointment and out the blew she mentions “a lot of first time moms tear,” and in my mind I said “Nope, not me!” I am sure her statement came from her professional experience assisting many mothers in childbirth but I did not allow her statement to dismantle my request of no tearing because it was something I often prayed about and had so much confidence in God to answer.

Breastfeeding was also a top concern of mine so I also prayed that my breast milk would come soon after delivery of my son and it did. It was not until I actually started breastfeeding that I discovered that some mother’s breast milk may take a few days or even longer to produce. Therefore, I highly recommend that if you desire to breastfeed, pray about it while you are pregnant, specifically about the timing and the ability to produce enough milk for your child.

Going forward and having experienced pregnancy and childbirth, I have mentally created a checklist of my prayers for the next pregnancy.  At the top of my list is not only success during breastfeeding but also no pain during the beginning stages of breastfeeding. Yes, I said it, no pain and I’m believing God for it! If you are a mom and has breastfed, the first few weeks were definitely trying! The pain was intense and to be honest I would get anxious when it was time for my son to nurse again because it HURT…a lot! After about two weeks, the pain ceased but during that time, it was difficult. So yes, no pain during breastfeeding will definitely be requested.

The list above are just a few things that I specifically prayed or will be praying for in the future. By no means are these specific requests more important than a healthy pregnancy, mama and baby. However, if you have extra concerns, it does not hurt to add a few more requests to God.

I remember in the first weeks after giving birth to my son and bringing him home, I began to feel a way I had never felt before. There was an indescribable weight as a new parent that was not necessarily a bad feeling but just a heightened concern for my child that my husband and I were now responsible for. I remember in my sons first week at home, I began pumping breast milk for storage so that I would have a stash for when I returned to work. While pumping, I thought about the time it took to set up the pump, the length of time it would take to pump in each session and how much milk it would take for me to store enough for when I went back to work. I was hormonal having just gave birth and to add the task of building a milk stash. Although I had just started my journey on breastfeeding and pumping, I could tell that it would be hard work. I remember sitting at the dining room table one day while pumping and I just started crying and telling my husband how I was concerned about storing enough milk for our son. As usual, my husband was calm and always bringing things in perspective told me to take it one day at a time and that I will store enough of breast milk away for our son because the Lord will provide.

In Matthew 6:34, the Bible states "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I really had to change my way of thinking on storing breast milk. Yes, it may sound simple but when you are in a situation and your thinking about all that you have to do, it is very easy to become overwhelmed. When I started feeling that way, I prayed and read scripture only focusing on the present. Each day I only thought about what I needed to do that day or how many times I would pump that particular day. I did not think about how much I needed to pump the following days nor the amount of milk I would need. 

When you focus on one day a time, it will clear and purge your mind of unnecessary thoughts. Allowing yourself to become overwhelmed by future tasks can lead to missing the joy and gift of the present because we are too consumed about what has to be done the next day. It may sound simple, but follow the Bible on what it says about worry….. it actually works.

If you are having an issue with feeling overwhelmed or stressed about what task is on your list, I suggest reading scripture first thing in the morning when you wake up and focus on that scripture all day. If you feel that you will forget to think about the scripture, write on a note(s) and put them in places where you will notice and read scripture. Also, PRAY. Prayer is an absolute must if you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed about anything. Pour your heart out to God of all your concerns and ask for guidance in removing any worry you have and I am confident that your concerns will be taken care of.